So, you’re ready to pop the question? First off—congratulations! Now comes the fun (and slightly nerve-wracking) part: planning the perfect surprise proposal. Whether you’re envisioning something intimate or grand, these tips will help you pull it off smoothly while making sure it’s meaningful, intentional, and beautifully captured. This guide will give you tips and real life examples of proposals I’ve captured so you can gather inspiration and get actual insight from a wedding photographer’s perspective.
Pre-Proposal Planning
Have a Plan (Seriously)
Spontaneity is cute, but for proposals? Planning is everything. Scout your location ahead of time, consider logistics like parking and timing, and loop in your photographer early. Together you can map out how things will go, where you’ll stand, and how to keep it a surprise.
From the perspective both as a female and as a photographer, I need you to hear me: HAVE. A. PLAN. I get way too many calls from men that are proposing within 48 hours and are fully winging it. While I exist to help guide you through this process, and maybe even collaborate and help you hone in on your plan (I love it, I’m here for it), I do not know your lady intimately, and I am not the one proposing.
The tradition of kneeling to propose stems from medieval chivalry, where knights would kneel to pledge loyalty to a lord or king, a gesture of deep respect, honor, and submission that transferred to courtship as a sign of profound admiration and devotion, symbolizing a man “surrendering” his heart and life to his beloved. So take a moment to really soak in what it means to “surrender” your heart to your partner, and how you want to show that.
Dress the Part
Yes, your partner wants to look great in photos—but so should you! Get a haircut, tame the beard, clip those nose hairs (we notice), and wear an outfit. Not just clothes. An outfit. You know the difference.
Help Her Feel Her Best
Many women want to feel polished for a big moment. Think nails, hair, and an outfit she loves. Don’t worry if it feels a little obvious—sometimes that just builds fun anticipation. Enlist her friends to help with the “decoy plan” so she doesn’t suspect you. Dinner plans or a girls’ day out are the perfect excuse to get her dressed up without tipping her off.
Know Your Woman
Does she want a quiet moment with just you, or a big gesture surrounded by family and friends? The bigger the plan, the earlier you need to start preparing. Intentionality is everything.
Ask for Help
Spoiler alert: her friends probably know her better than you when it comes to details like nail polish colors, dream spots, or which decoy excuse won’t raise red flags. Use them as your secret weapon.
Prepare Your Words
Some people kneel, blurt out “Will you marry me?” and call it a day. But trust me—this is a once-in-a-lifetime moment. Take a breath, write a few notes, and speak from the heart. FEEL your feelings. Then drop to one knee and soak up the ooey-gooey magic.
Make It Yours
At the end of the day, this is about you two. Don’t let well-meaning friends or family take over. Stay true to your relationship, your personality, and what makes your love story unique.
The Day of the Proposal
Take Your Time
You’ve planned everything—now relax into it. If you’re running behind or traffic’s bad, don’t panic. Have backup plans in place and enjoy the ride.
Loop In Your Photographer
Share your live location so they can track you without constant check-ins. That way you can stay present with your partner instead of sneaking away to send texts every five minutes.
The Proposal Moment
Check Your Angles
Be aware of where your photographer is. Crowds may shift or block the view, but try to position yourself parallel to the camera. Kneel with the knee closest to the photographer on the ground—this shows your face and her reaction in one perfect frame. This is a tip that helps you get the best photo. However, as you can see in the below images, using the wrong knee most certainly doesn’t ruin the photo. So don’t stress it too much. The most important part is ensuring that nothing is blocking the view between the two of you and the photographer.
Slow It Down
Take your time. Let your words land. Hold her hands, look into her eyes. The slower you move, the more meaningful it feels—and the better the photos will turn out.
Embrace Imperfection
Nerves are normal! If things don’t go 100% according to plan, that’s okay. Your photographer will capture the real emotions, and those imperfectly perfect moments often end up being the most magical.
Final Thoughts
A surprise proposal doesn’t have to be complicated—but it should be intentional. Thoughtful planning, a little help from her friends, and slowing down enough to feel the moment will create a memory you’ll both treasure forever.
And hey, if you want those heart-melting, frame-worthy photos? Don’t forget to bring a professional photographer along for the ride.
Inquire Here to start planning your surprise proposal!
For more insights, check out these real life surprise proposals below. See what other gentleman did, tips, tweaks, and important takeaways.
Real Life Example: Mason + Ciara
This DC based surprise proposal is the perfect example of a man with a plan.
✓ Mason reached out about a month and a half in advance to secure photo services.
✓ He scouted the location a head of time to ensure he had the location he wanted to use PLUS a backup location.
✓ He sent me photos of the locations, maps, and we talked through a game plan.
✓ He had a plan to get her dressed up that made sense, and kept everything a surprise.
✨ BONUS: He had a plan for after the proposal to spend the rest of the evening together with dinner and a candlelit orchestra date night. So that he didn’t just propose and then have nothing to do. He planned a full, well rounded, celebration.
Ladies love a man with a plan. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
What you can learn from this:
If you choose a tight space like this, you have to be spot on in your positioning. The greenhouse was GORGEOUS and a phenomenal idea, but there was less room for error and no space for me to move around to capture a different angle. He was super nervous, so he kneeled down a little too early. As you can see in the photos below, one more step to the center of the room would have allowed me, as the photographer to capture her face as well. Alternatively, he could have also lead her into the space, putting himself on the right side of the frame. This would have allowed me to capture more of her reaction.
Important takeaway:
Him being slightly off center, was not the end of the world. You WILL be nervous. Your brain is going to throw SO much out the window, and you know what? It’s all going to be ok 🫶🏼. There is so much perfection in imperfection and the right person isn’t going to say no because of the little things. The woman in the below photos was absolutely so thrilled to say yes, and absolutely loved and appreciated this man’s love, effort, and the photos they got of this moment.
All of my proposal services also include a mini session following your proposal. So you can get enjoy the raw, authentic moment fully; and if we need to curate a more perfectly posed photo, we can do that after the fact.
Real Life Example: Steriling and Lauren
This couple are actually really great friends of mine, so I was able to have a lot of insight and input as to how this proposal was going to go. I had so many opinions. However, Steriling shot down whatever he felt did not aligned with his plan, and I commend that.
At the end of the day, this is your moment too! I do personally believe that this is a moment for you to put her first. This is a moment you are showing her just how much she means to you, and how well you understand her. However, you are also showing her yourself and how YOU intend to love her. There is a perfect combination of putting your woman first, and also bringing yourself into the moment.
What you can learn from this:
Again, these are good friends of mine, so I’ve got more intel than with other couples. It also means that I can provide even more candid insights. I BEGGED Steriling to make sure Lauren was dressed up for the actual proposal photos. However, this man had a vision. That vision was to make this moment as authentic and meaningful as possible, without the need for too many bells and whistles. Quite frankly, I appreciate that. When and if my friends read this I will firmly die on the hill that she should have been dressed up 🤣…but I will also concede to the fact that this moment was perfect, and Steriling really knows and loves Lauren so deeply and truly, and I do appreciate that he made this HIS proposal.
Important takeaway:
Bringing in friends and family can be really key, but at the end of the day this is how YOU want to show your love to the person you love. Know. Your. Woman.
And you know what? Also remember that all of my sessions include photos after the fact 😂. So if you feel like proposing in casual clothes, but you know she wants to be dolled up and fancy, there is opportunity to do both…and maybe take a curated re-creation of the moment, haha! Compromise is a beautiful thing. ✨
Now that you’ve explored the guide and seen real-life surprise proposals brought to life, the final step is thoughtful execution. If you’re planning a proposal in the DC area and value discretion, intention, and refined imagery, I’d love to help you plan and document it seamlessly.
